News & Views 8
Another Approach to Caregiving
Being a caregiver is demanding, and if you let it, caregiving can become too demanding. It can cause sleepless nights, uncontrollable stress, and multiple health problems. That is why www.ThoughtsForAlzheimersCaregivers.com devotes so much space to caring for the caregiver. But there is another way to look at caregiving that can make a difference.
When we just think of ourselves as caregivers, we focus on the tasks we feel compelled to fulfill. In that light, caregiving is a series of never-ending obligations that brings little satisfaction. And when the person with Alzheimer’s is difficult to deal with, a caregiver’s life is even more challenging. Not surprisingly, many overwhelmed caregivers are at risk of becoming victims or martyrs.
We cannot change reality, but we can change the way that we deal with it. We have loved and cared about the person who now has Alzheimer’s in the past, and he or she still deserves to be honored in the present. They didn’t want this disease any more than we did. The circumstances we face are not their fault, any more than they are ours. Instead, we should realize that we are more than caregivers. We are trusted partners, loyal friends, or loving family members who care. We do not exist to perform duties. We are there to make a positive difference in their lives.
As we age, we learn that lasting happiness doesn’t come from things or achievements as much as it does from faithful relationships. Opening our hearts and giving to people we care about is the surest path to life satisfaction and personal fulfillment. A positive attitude and our commitment to our loved ones leads to better outcomes when we are together. They foster moments of joy. But there are other benefits as well. As advocates of unconditional love, we serve as respected role models for our family and others. The impact will be especially meaningful to our kids and grandkids. And we also gain respect among our friends, neighbors, and associates. As a result, we feel good about ourselves and how we are living our lives.
The incessant pressure of caregiving prevents us from becoming Pollyannas. But a conscious desire to be a positive force whenever possible can make our lives and those of our loved ones better. When we hit a snag, we can close our eyes, take a deep breath, remember that we are there for our loved one, not the disease, and start anew.
There is no way to make the life of family caregivers easy. But each of us has the power within us to make life easier than it would otherwise be. We can choose to make our life paths more positive.
The www.ThoughtsForAlzheimersCaregivers.com website provides a good overview of the caregiving journey for people who are experiencing caregiving challenges. And our newsletters and the News & Views section of the website will continue to bring new suggestions in the coming weeks and months.
If you have questions about the caregiving process, please don’t hesitate to contact us at [email protected]. These will be addressed in personal responses or upcoming newsletters.